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Showing posts from May, 2025

Ndi Igbo and the Burden of Excellence

To the best of our poor efforts, Nigeria remains a society that frequently prioritises ethnic loyalty over merit. This is most evident in our politics at every level, and at the national level, ndi Igbo in Nigeria face a unique and paradoxical challenge, which I call the burden of excellence. While other major ethnic groups readily support their own candidates, even those with questionable character or credentials, ndi Igbo often hold their potential leaders to impossibly high standards, standards that the majority of individuals among them could not meet themselves. Ironically, this insistence on righteousness, competence, and near-flawlessness has become a major handicap for ndi Igbo in the Nigerian political sphere. Unlike their counterparts who rally behind mediocre or even evidently corrupt candidates simply because they are "one of their own", ndi Igbo scrutinize their own with relentless precision that most of the time borders on spite and sadism. This results in them ...

The Parenting Paradox

Over the weekend, I had a thought-provoking discussion with friends about parenting in Nigeria. The conversation made me reflect on how much has changed and how much we might be getting wrong.   Growing up, the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" wasn’t just a saying; it was a lived reality. Neighbours corrected you, aunties and uncles scolded you, and even strangers felt entitled to guide you (much to our annoyance back then). There was an unspoken agreement that raising children was a collective responsibility.   Today, parenting feels more like a solo mission. Everyone is hyper-vigilant about their own child. We keep them indoors, shield them from “bad influences,” and micromanage their social lives. The irony? In trying to protect them, we might actually be stunting them. A recurring theme in our discussion was the fear of other badly raised children corrupting our own. Parents pull their kids from group activities, avoid certain schools, and restrict fr...

Suffering Olympics and the Death of Empathy

We recognise that suffering is universal, and that there will always be someone whose suffering is worse than ours. We acknowledge this, yet somewhere deep within, many of us still cling to the unconscious belief that our own life, our struggles, and our experiences are the central plot of the world, while others exist merely as supporting characters. This belief manifests subtly but powerfully. Every conversation becomes filtered through the lens of our own experience. We interrupt not to understand, but to relate, or worse, to compete. This form of self-centeredness makes it difficult to truly engage with the emotions, realities, and perspectives of others. I would even argue that this tendency actively hinders societal progress. Looking around, I often wonder: Does this behavior stem from fear? Fear of being insignificant? Or is it an insecurity, a sense that if we’re not constantly asserting our own pain, we’ll fade into irrelevance? But life is not a solo performance; it is an ens...

The Absolute of Nothing

The world is a rapidly changing arena, but somehow, we are anchored by the weight of outdated philosophies and ideologies that fail to resonate with our present realities. We have an extreme commitment to old ways of thinking, and it is a fixation that leaves little room for adaptation or nuanced decision-making. Rather than weighing options with a flexible approach that considers both immediate needs and future improvements, we are increasingly polarized, with each extreme carrying the potential to worsen situations and breed an inactive collective. At the heart of this issue is the tendency to view problems in simply binary terms. Only This or Only That. We make decisions based on rigid pros and cons, with little regard for the suitability of each option in the short term or the capacity to evolve them over time. This black-and-white mindset can lead to a paralysis of progress; when the only alternatives considered are the extremes of adherence or complete rejection, innovative midd...